As far as deeper issues, I'm quite fond of two books: "Games People Play" and "Scripts People Live" -- the handbooks of a psychological theory known as "transactional analysis". Basically, they present a theory about dysfunctional interactions between people... and back it up with descriptions of specific, common, generally well-ingrained ways that people manipulate each other to get psychosocial needs met (often times without realizing it) and a few of the needs met by each "game". The second book expands on the theory to show common life patterns that people get stuck in to get those needs met -- and again, what some of the needs are that the "script" might be designed to fulfill.
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Strikes me as funny you say your bf is a workaholic. Have you ever wondered if he too was involved in something like you are? How would you feel if he was? Would you not care that he was spending his "work" time fratinizing with a coworker?
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